Why learning about Mindfulness won't make you more mindful
Do you buy those mindful colouring in books, hoping they'll make you more mindful only to realise that you zone out while colouring in (or, like me, you never actually opened the cover, but the idea of doing it at some time in the future remains?). Have you jumped on the 'Mindfulness is the best thing since sliced bread - possibly even better than sliced bread' (unlikely!) train? Did you do so because you liked the sound of Mindfulness - perhaps it made logical sense and, by all accounts, is quite easy to learn and do? You know what I'm talking about - sit still and quietly and listen to the sounds around you, focus on the breath going in and out, find something in your environment that you've never noticed before, or try to watch your thoughts like you're watching them float away on that leaf on that river? Sounds blissful and easy, right? WRONG! If, like me, you've ever tried to actually watch your thoughts it goes a little something like this:
I notice that I'm having a thought about sitting here. Ok - stop, you're meant to be watching your breath. Ok - great - well done. Keep doing that. I think I'll have Thai for dinner tonight - nah, I had Thai last week - what about pizza. Shoot - my breath! Ok - good, there you go - there's your breath. Breath. Breath. Breath. Squirrel! Breath. Breath. Breath. This is so boring - when am I going to reach enlightenment already? Shoot - ok - deep breaths - really feel them. My leg hurts sitting here. Breath. Breath. Breath. Furry animals climbing trees. What do I need at the shops this afternoon. Maybe I should host a party next month - what theme should it be - oh I loved that one party I went to a few years ago where they made everyone dress in something that started with the first letter of their first name. Names - they're funny things aren't they...........
You get me, don't you?!
Mindfulness is such a buzz right now! From mindful eating, to mindful communication, and, I'm sure, mindful urinating (billion dollar idea!). But what is Mindfulness? What is it really?
As far as Modern Psychology is concerned, the term Mindfulness was popularised by the brilliant (and soothing voice of) Jon Kabat-Zinn. His 'Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction' is defined as being "ideal for cultivating greater awareness of the unity of mind and body, as well as of the ways the unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can undermine emotional, physical, and spiritual health". Wow! Amazing! But, wait - what on Earth is 'cultivating greater awareness' and what are these unconscious thoughts, feelings and behaviours - if they're unconscious, by definition don't that happen without my awareness? So how does that work? Oh right - that's why I want to be more mindful - to be more aware of these! That's what all the books say, don't they?
Have you read all the books and been to the information sessions? Are you often reading the articles in magazines about mindfulness? Let me guess - you know how to be mindful, right? Watch your thoughts, be more aware of the environment etc etc.
If this is the case, are you in fact, actually, being more mindful? Are you actually aware of your thoughts; do you eat meals mindfully? Are you practicing non judgement of thoughts? Are you happy - I mean, genuinely happy and not just happy for now because things are going well right now? Are you really living more presently? This is where I've found a gap: we can intellectually get Mindfulness - most of us could probably even teach one or two other people about Mindfulness. But...and this is the Sir Mixalot of BIG BUTs - are you just knowledgeable about Mindfulness or are you actually Mindful? I feel somewhat qualified to be able to ask this question: you see, I am in fact a person who has spent considerable amounts of time, effort and energy studying, reading, learning, teaching and knowing about Mindfulness, but who has only recently achieved a state of true and experiential Mindful Awareness!
A great meditation teacher once said to me: it's one thing to look over and see the grass on the other side of the river. You can probably very accurately describe that grass and many of the blades of grass - they're green, are actively involved in photosynthesis, smooth to touch etc; it's another thing to travel to the other side of the river and sit on and actually feel and experience the grass - that specific patch of it. Or put another way: our eyes or minds may be able to see the path and tell many people how to travel the path - for example - turn left at the intersection, then make a right at the lights. But until we have actually, physically traveled that path ourselves, we can never truly understand or appreciate the path and the journey on that path (you know, the frustration of not being able to do a u-turn at the lights, or forgetting to stop at the stop sign). It's the equivalent of having eyes that see but legs that won't walk.
You're now probably thinking: 'ok, so you make a great case, but you still haven't told us how to be more mindful'. And therein lays the catch: nothing I say in this blog will help you to be more mindful (sorry about that- feel free to stop reading right now!). Mindfulness is an experiential process. It's not something you know, it's something you are. It's not something you talk about, it's something you do. And it's not something to choose to be, it's something you are. And with regular practice, it will happen! Take up yoga; learn to meditate, or, shameless plug coming, attend my Mindful Living Workshop - whatever floats your boat. But I tell you now, you won't become more mindfully aware without some effort and work. I can safely say that from deep personal experiences.
All the best on this wonderful journey that is life.
