Trust: Who or What?
As you might be aware (those of you who follow me on Facebook or Instagram or read my Blogs) I’m currently on a world trip. It started in Bali, and then took me to India and Nepal, then the polar opposite: New York, New Orleans, Austin, Portland, Montreal and now I’m in the U.K. This trip was booked for many reasons – the timing was right; I’d never traveled far so I wanted to do it while I was still (relatively) young; I was ready for the challenge of travel; and I wanted to continue growing as a person. But the overwhelming, main, reason why I chose to travel at this particular time (to the other side of the world where the sun rises at 8am and sets at 3pm and is bitterly cold…..) is that it felt right. Yes, you heard me – it felt right. The decision was more of an intuitive one then a cognitive or rational one. When put like that, it wasn’t really a decision at all, but a calling or an action based on a feeling. Of course, as with any major life change, the head and the heart duel to the death, flipping back and forth like a see-saw with two very different weighted people on it! I trusted that feeling, and my own capabilities, and went for it. The gut won! And I’m so incredibly thankful and grateful for that! I hoped to learn more about myself on this trip and, guys, I’ve done exactly that!!!
The biggest learning so far is what brings me to write this blog and what ironically brought me on this trip in the first place: TRUST. I recently spoke to a friend who helped inspire this blog (as often happens – I can’t take all the credit) – she’ll hopefully realise it was her when/if she reads this. I also recently spent a week with another very dear friend who helped me to integrate my learnings so far and realise them! So, here it is: this information is equal parts what I’ve learned about myself (or, better yet, what I probably already knew but have woken up to) and equal parts a guide for you. Take what you like and leave the rest. Here goes……..
Whatever happens we can handle it
Travelling sounds glamorous and fun. Of course it is that and much, much more. But what few people talk about (I can’t remember hearing this on Getaway) is that travel can be very challenging and trying and testing and really, really hard! But, I firmly and wholeheartedly believe that we’re dealt the cards we can handle – even if, at the moment they’re dealt, we think we’re going to fall apart because there is no way we can manage and deal with this ‘hand’. Wrong! We can and, I bet, we have. Fear often gets in the way and tells us, incorrectly, that ‘if this happens, I don’t know what I’ll do’ or ‘I couldn’t possibly handle this’. But we can! Trust that you can and will handle whatever comes to you. Whether you choose to manage alone, or you call on the right (for you) help, you’ll get through it. Give over to trust – trust that your body knows exactly what to do to keep you going (or at least that it will tell you when it’s not coping); trust that your gut and intuition know where to guide you; trust that your emotions will speak up and give you hints and tips; and trust that the path you are on, albeit bumpy (or more like chasms and cliffs) is the path that’s right for you. Some of the greatest barriers I’ve faced in life have turned out to be the best things that could have ever happened to me – I definitely didn’t think that at the time though!
It’s not all bad or negative
These ‘things’ that happen to us or because of us or whatever – often they’re actually neither ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘positive’ or ‘negative’. Sometimes they just are. What initially looks like a bad or negative or painful experience, is likely going to be a blessing in disguise – a perfect learning opportunity or a chance to grow and build strength and courage. When working with parents, I often encourage them to allow their children to fall over (sometimes literally) and make mistakes – it’s the single best way to learn! And if we’re learning and evolving and awakening, how can that be a bad thing? Even if the things that are happening are painful to us or to others. Maybe they need to be? What is the hidden message that’s coming from these ‘things’?
The Japanese Vase
Often these fights and challenges appear at the weirdly right times – they’re teaching us something. It’s a kind of test (Ahhhh, test…..that word evokes such fear in us….perhaps stemming from the tests and exams of our school days)! Of course we didn’t ask for this lesson and the subsequent ‘test’ of our learnings, but when they arrive we’re best to go with it rather than fight it. Remember that mindful attitude of Acceptance…? There’s a HUGE chance (I’ll go as far to say that it’s inevitable) that we’ll emerge from the test stronger and wiser. In Japan, it is customary to keep broken vases rather than to throw them away. Why? These vases are glued back together with pure gold, creating a more expensive, more valuable, and stronger, vase than before. Had the vase not broken in the first place, it wouldn’t have become the vase it is today. Someone recently said to me that in order for things to, well, be in order, sometimes chaos arises first – think of the last time you moved house or similar. You probably had to create a massive mess in order for the move to happen and those items to find a new spot in the new home. Sometimes chaos is just the beginning of something new and, often, better!
Gut versus Head
Otherwise known as Intuition versus Logic. As I mentioned earlier, many decisions I make in life often make no sense to others (and sometimes they make little sense to me). That’s because our gut is incredibly powerful and often knows a heck of a lot more than our minds do. Our minds are conditioned creatures (yes, creature….picture it) and, if you really think hard (mind the pun) a lot of the thoughts we have each day aren’t even our own. They come from the collective consciousness i.e., the media, society, other people, and are the thoughts we are ‘supposed’ to have, as opposed to our true, intuitive thoughts: those thoughts originating from our soul, rather than our conditioned cognitions. You still with me? Put another way, sometimes our thoughts are so mindless that we’re often not able to recall the actual thought or train of thought (except that we realise we’ve spaced out for a few moments mid conversation with our friend who is looking back at us with bemusement!). Anyway, what I’m saying is: listen to and trust that gut ‘feeling’ more often. It might mean a total ignorance of the head for a few moments or it might mean a few puzzled looks from people ….. it’s worth it and much more powerful!!
Society versus The Universe
Sometimes society tells us what we should or shouldn’t do, where we should or shouldn’t be, how we should or shouldn’t behave, or, as above, what we should and shouldn’t think. Jezz – I hate that word, should! Society is just a man made construct that we, realistically, can choose to follow or not. I’m not necessarily saying that we deviate so far that we become recluse or resist the world we were born into; but there is more to life than the man made constructs around us. There are plenty of things going on around us that we can’t explain: you know, those coincidences that just keep happening, or those freaky moments you just can’t explain. Society told me to get a ‘real job’, marry and have children. Right now in my life, I’m not doing any of those things. They didn’t feel right. My path is very different to what society said I should do. I didn’t even want to be a psychologist. At University, I was set on doing Law and Journalism. I stumbled on psychology and fell in love – or, as I prefer to see it these days, psychology found me. Perhaps that was the universal plan for me all along. Similarly, I didn’t yearn to be a Yoga Teacher. I remember the day, in Far North Queensland, sitting with a very dear friend and the ‘idea’ just popped into my head. I hadn’t even done that much yoga when I thought – “I want to be a yoga teacher”. If I’d questioned that ‘thought’ with things such as ‘but I can’t even really do yoga that well’ or ‘it’s way too expensive and competitive to be a yoga teacher’ or, my favourite, ‘psychologists can’t be yoga teachers too’, I never would have taken that step forward in my career and life and ended up making, to this day, the single best ‘decision’ I’ve ever made. My decision or a universal plan….I believe it was part of my universal plan and it only came to me when I was truly ready to receive it! Trust the path you are on – you’re on it for a reason. That path may not always be an easy one. And, while it’s not pathed in solid concrete, you must continue to walk along that path (you know, instead of just sitting back and watching from afar). Practice trust! What happens to you minute to minute, day to day, week to week, is happening at exactly the right time! I dare you to trust that and let it happen
Anicca – Nothing is Permanent
Sometimes our biggest challenges are there for a purpose – do we fight them? Resist them? Or trust that it will get better or easier, as it always has? Or do we hold onto the good stuff, clutching it and praying that it never leaves? The word Anicca is a Buddhist term meaning ‘Impermanent’. When we hurt, both physically and emotionally, it will pass; when we lose something, the loss will be filled in time; when we attain something great, that too will change over time; if something ‘bad’ happens to us, it won’t continue to happen for eternity (and, as the universe often has it, that perceived ‘bad’ event was probably one of the best things to have happened because of the learnings you took from it). Can you think of anything in life that permanent? Nothing is. Our job is to sit with it until it passes, both the good and the not so good. Trust that you have the strength to make it through the bad (and good times – let’s face it, those good times can be just as stressful as the bad) because it WILL pass in time. Be patient and trust that it will, like it has before.
I genuinely hope you got something out of reading this. I know I got BUCKET LOADS out of experiencing it. If you’d like to learn more (and by more I mean EXPERIENCE some of these learnings and concepts, rather than to read about them), please join me in Gladstone on March 4th, 2017 or in Brisbane on March 11th, 2017 for Mindful Living: From Knowing to Experiencing. Check out www.dhammaandco.com for more details or email me at dhammaandco@gmail.com
With loving kindness,
Davina
